remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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