Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
