Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Randomize
