i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
