Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
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