Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Randomize
