I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize
