when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
