My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
