is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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