"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
