you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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