I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize