I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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