Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize