didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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