this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
