she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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