We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize