bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
