you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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