Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
