If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I can't turn off my feet"
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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