I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
