Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
