Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
