Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
