Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Girls should come with a carfax report
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
