May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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