But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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