Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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