she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
