Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I skipped work to stalk him.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Randomize
