the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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