How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
