I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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