we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
