so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
