my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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