Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
