im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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