We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
