last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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