I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
