im having a threesome with these popsicles
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
