God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
