Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
