she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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