I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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