The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
