Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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