the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
