I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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