I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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