So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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