I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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