Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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