Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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