Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize