i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
