And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
