I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
