we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
