should my penis look like a turkey
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
