LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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