I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
